These last couple of years have been pretty crazy and hard on the family and I. My child hood home was ruined by a tornado, my Grandpa passed, my health issues have kind of been running rampid, and the depression has been so much fun to deal with.......just kidding. I look back on the last 2 years of my life and have realized through all of the things that have gone on, I'm still here and still surviving and thriving the best that I can.
New memories are being made in a beautiful house that my mom and dad have made a home. My Grandpa is in heaven, and someday we will meet again, and the health issues and depression I have learned to cope with. The road and journey that I have traveled on my whole life, hasen't been and easy one. I think it is something with my genetics and the people in my family but we always try and take the road less traveled, and sometimes make it harder for ourselves, but have stuck by each other no matter what. Although I do have a blood disorder my parents always encouraged me not to give up and set a path for myself that would get me to the goals that I had planned for myself. My parents have been my main caregivers for much of my life and have not given up on me, and stayed by me. My dad almost lost everything paying doctor bills, and I feel like my brothers were cheated out of a childhood, because mom always had to take care of me. My family is a good family and through everything we are still standing strong. Every time I would get sick, my parents would get judged by a family member, saying that I'm not getting the proper treatment, but I was, and my blood disorder is so rare, that how are you to know what treatment is best. My parents did the best that they could and I would not change that for anything.
So that is a little about the past.....now we fast forward to the present.
After these last couple of years I have had to push certain people away for 1. not understanding me, 2. judging my parents (you can judge me all you want, but leave my parents alone). 3. invading my privacy, and talking smack. For the people that were in my life up until about 6 months ago, you didn't deserve the time I gave you in the first place. You raked me over the coals, hurt me badly and after all the things and stuff that I have been through in the past, still thought it appropriate to judge me. If you had been true family in the first place we wouldn't have the problem we do today. I was hurt and never got an apolgy. Oh and the necklace I recieved for Christmas was not a gift of love, it was just to boost the ego of the person that hurt me, ya know kind of a "I hurt her, but I want to make myself feel better."
I realized I lashed out but if there was any kind of love there, you would have come to me to try and make it better, but you didn't. Your love comes with conditions, my families love is unconditional. I feel like the people that hurt me put me in the hospital this last fall and made me sick for as long as I was. They put one hell of a weight on a 26 year-olds shoulders, just because they couldn't get along with me or my parents. I was just a spanking boy, because they really wanted to talk to my parents, but never did. I just want to say thank-you for all that you have put me through not because it was fun, but because I have learned who stays beside you through thick and thin and who doesn't. I have no regrets for what I did or said, I'm just the only one who had big enough balls to do it. My own husband tried to fix things and he was ignored.
I'm now 27 and have had to do a lot of living in a short amount of time, and I wouldn't change my life in any way. God didn't give me this situation or blood disorder because he hates me, he gave it to me because he loves me, and wanted me to learn and grow and believe in Him. These situations are hard and I think the thing that hurts the most is that I always have tried with these people and it always ended up hurting me in the end. The best thing I ever did, is distance myself. I don't know how long this will be, but I hope there will be an even better outcome someday. Although I was sick for half a year, and I may have been knocked down, I got back up, dusted myselft off and stood tall.
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